For quite some time, I have not been in the best shape possibile but from last week till now I have this surge of hapiness and comfort for absolutely no reason at all just all of the sudden. As if my brain decided to inject huge waves of seratonine for absolutely no reason at all, while I am aware of this so decided to take advantage of this opportunity especially that I rarely see this wonderful neurotransmatic hormone.
What is with time?
I have wasted a good amount of time fretting on useless things that lead me nowhere at all, due to my overthinking nature that I started to doubt myself for the time that got wasted. To make it simple: time is a very weird thing like some days you feel that things are moving very slow and some days you feel like things passed in mere minutes which all plays to one thing and that is perspective.
I have wasted a good amount of time that I could focused on more important things like writing more articles, reading more books, did more podcasts, and much more but some days I just felt paralyzed in my bed unable to get up which I don't know if it was depression, anxiety, or burnout.
Now I am not going to dive into my personal life regarding this but main idea is that I have wasted a decent amount of time that I wish I could regain back and do something good with it but what is lost is lost so we think about the present moment and what I can do at the moment, while I do have enough time till the end of the year to regain the status that I have planned for myself
A sudden awakening moment
The moment that my mind got hit with seratonine that I started to see things a bit different, whole lot different than what I used to see before. You get to see the world in a different lens which I will explain in details
I went to see a friend of mine to introduce me to yerba matte so we decided to hang out at a local cafe, he brought along his friends which each one of them comes from a different background yet each is explaining their own struggles in life. I realized that I am not the only one facing with issues but it just hit me: I am the only one who is responsible for my own well being and decisions like nobody is gonna come and save me from the abyss that I am in also why I am doubting myself where I am in a much better position that anyone would expect? I have and still that sparkle and potential that I have always heard of ever since I was a kid from literally every single adult who saw me, why kill it off when someone else is willing to do anything to have it?
That is where I started to see things differently like my mind just cleared up and I can see things clearly in details which made me reach to the conclusion that I might be on the right track in life but it will take loads amount of time to reach to where I am expecting myself to go so the expectations that I will reach to the places that I wanted might take loads amount of time but I was kinda wrong about this
Time is no longer on my side
Ironically the moment that my mind cleared up and I can see everything is also the time that everything just hit on me at the same time. A good amount of people want to be on the podcast, getting a decent amount of PR for my own company, people are messaging me that they are seeing value in what I am seeing and that it is of high quality, and much more.
A good amount of people are reaching out helping for absolutely no reason that I haven't prepared for this at all. There are lots of things that I need to work on that I don't have enought time to do. Things ranging from doing my own company's internal system towards handling two podcasts and more (I will explain this later on). Overall I do not have anymore time to waste especially that things are moving relatively fast, much faster than I have expected so I am gaining some sort of momentum which I am trying control and move on a decent pace but I just can't to be honest
Things are moving very fast and I can't keep pace all of the time, time is no longer on my side and I can't waste more
It is about doing the right thing
One thing that still runs in my mind that I want to build my own company but I want to do it right from the start, I don't mind taking extra time on it but to do the right thing first but I wish I had more time to do so. It is not about the money like I am not rushing things to make quick cash to make quick bucks from it but rather I want to build something that I would love to build and I have thought of loads of internal services that would better aid future clients with their products.
It is the matter of the fact that I want to do it right from the beginning not half assing it just to get into the market also the market that I am hitting is relatively a niche market: entreprises mostly while I can jump with startups that would want to expand further which most of what I am going to do is handmade written software not grab some templates and stitch things together to make some quick cash but rather code everything from scratch from the start.
I want to create timeless software for the long run, utilizing Bitcoin as a method of transaction does prove that the company will sustain itself for the long run on its own rather than being managed by a centralized authority (I have talked about this before). I just want to do the thing that I like to do which is writing code but I just want to do it right, it is about doing something from the heart and not doing it for the sake of money or fame. I just want to make the world a better place for some people and that what matters the most.
I want to state that I want to start the company on good manners so I have decided to do research for a local non-profit initiative that I would do for them a website or service absolutely for free as a good step for the company and gain some PR out of it. I have found some initiatives worth investing in but we will see about that but the intentions of helping the community here is present
What is running on your mind?
The most important event that is running on my mind is doing my own company by the end of this year on all levels, while I did hire a designer to handle the design aspects which means I just need to focus on the coding part.
Between working on my own company, I have to run two podcasts (which are "The Reconfigured Podcast" and "MENA Cloud Pod") along with working on my personal image (which is "Technolaaji") from writing articles/code, work tasks (writing code and AWS certificates), and maintaining a decent life from hanging out, gym, writing, and reading 52 books a year (I am on book 44 as I am writing this article). This is tough even if it means you organize every single bit of yourself that you will get hit with burnout and exhaustion at some level in your life.
So if I replied back to you or messaged to you just to ask about you, consider yourself someone special (don't go too crazy with this tho)